Pregnancy Has Made Me Well-Adjusted?

Did you click on the article because you read the title?  The title reads like an oxymoron; a joke.  Who says pregnant women are well-adjusted?  Ha!  That’s sounds kind of crazy…  This woman must be mal-adjusted in her well-adjusted state!

My husband said this to me one day during my First Trimester tears.  “Pregnancy has made you well adjusted.”  We laughed about it and I had to ask what he meant… but now at 19 weeks, I think I understand.

Something just clicked.  He said, at the time, that I was well-adjusted because I was crying more.  I was always the girl that viewed emotions as items on a shelf.  You take them down, you look at them, you sometimes dust them off but you don’t hold them, you don’t deal with or throw them away when they don’t fit anymore.  They sit there – abstract from you.  And then baby came along – hey Gloria, it’s okay to cry!  Over little things.  Over pretty things.  Over loving things.  Over super silly things.

Maybe it’s because I turned 30 this year.  30 is supposed to be some magical number, right?  The ohmigod I’m getting older kind of wake-up call or so I hear.

But maybe it’s because I’m ready.  I’m ready for this new chapter and this little one in my life.  I’m ready for us to sit on the couch and cuddle as a family.  I’m ready to say I don’t know the answers and I want to be ready to tell him or her that…

I want my baby to feel and to feel as if feeling is okay.

We don’t become well-adjusted overnight.  This life is a process; you’ve never hit the top.  Things are never “perfect” in the traditional sense of the word.  We just have to come to the decision that things are beautiful the way they are; the sky is blue and that is beautiful.  My eyes are brown and that is beautiful.  I’m pregnant and that is beautiful (even if nothing fits and the scale numbers keep going up).  I have celiac disease and sometimes that sucks but having good health again is beautiful.  Open the window and smell the rain.

Now ask me how well adjusted I am when I’ve turned into a milk machine with no sleep.  Yeah… maybe I better enjoy these moments of clarity while I still can…

What are your beautiful moments?  Has motherhood changed the way you view your life?

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